Silver Lining of Deafness - I was born with severe loss of hearing in my left ear and moderate loss of hearing in my right. I've worn a hearing aid in my right ear for as long as I can remember but no aid in my left because my parents were told it wouldn't make a difference. I've spent my entire life learning to adapt to my deafness with only an academic understanding of what "normal" hearing must feel like.
Managing my deafness is a constant struggle and there are multiple situations I encounter on a daily basis that are impacted by my deafness. In groups larger than five people I mostly just listen because it is difficult for me to hear everyone. I'm also afraid I may say something out of place with the rest of the conversation or people will simply have a hard time understanding me. When I go to the movies, it is frustrating when the captioning isn't working, or when in a crowded restaurant I cannot understand people if I cannot see their face. Airports are a nightmare because all announcements are made via the PA system. However, despite all of these inconveniences I truly believe that I've found more strengths from my deafness than impairment.
One area where my deafness has helped me is in my academic studies. Throughout my primary education I had the fortune of being taught by exceptional teachers in the Missouri Special School district program. In small classes with other hearing impaired children, I learned to develop skills like lip reading and clear pronunciation that enabled me to function in normal hearing settings. I learned in an environment where teaching could be tailored to my needs and arguably received higher quality education than I would have from the local elementary school. Furthermore, I learned from teachers who were patient and empathetic towards me, so I in turn learned to be a patient and empathetic person.
From late elementary school onward, I transitioned to local schools and no longer took classes with other deaf children. Like most kids, I found the transition to middle and high school intimidating. Due to my own insecurities and anxieties around communication, I struggled to make friends. However, during this time I carried a lapel microphone with a little transmitter, called an FM Unit, from class to class so that audio from a teacher could be transmitted directly to my hearing aid. Everyday I asked my teacher's to wear the microphone and sat in the front of class to more easily read their lips. This meant that in short order, in every new school, I became well known by my teachers and peers and always felt comfortable in the classroom. Ultimately, my deafness helped me to connect with people at a time when it would have been easier to fade into the background.
Another instance when my deafness has helped me is when interacting with my wife's family. My wife is from South India and her native language is Malayalam. My in-laws know English but it is more comfortable for them to talk with each other in their native language. During family gatherings it is common for me to be surrounded by spirited conversation I don't fully understand. Fortunately this is not an unfamiliar experience! Even though I couldn't understand the language, my training to read lips meant I still focused on the speaker's face so I was still engaged in the conversation. This endeared me to my in-laws. Through facial expressions and other body language I was able to get a sense of the conversation like when someone is being teased. Another important way hearing impairment prepared me for this experience is that I had already become comfortable with not understanding everything around me and trusting that any information I needed would be conveyed to me by my wife. I imagine that for someone who has never been in this situation it would be very frustrating. This frustration could lead one to withdrawing from the conversation, ultimately making it more difficult to connect with their new family.
These are two of the most significant examples of when my deafness has positively impacted my life, but there have also been numerous lesser occasions. Removing my hearing aid to enjoy a quiet moment, spending less on home stereo and headphones. Recently, my wife and I have joined the Association of Late Deafened Adults meeting and have been learning sign language and finding ways to communicate discreetly in public. These meetings have also given me a wonderful opportunity to support and learn from other deaf individuals in my community.
Thus my recommendation to many out there is to find the Silver Lining of Deafness - as we navigate our own path with deafness, look for the advantages, opportunities, and strengths that outweigh the challenges.